If I Have To Wait For You
by phoebe9509
Summary: Hotch breaks Emily's heart


Okay, the song I used for this is If I Have To Wait by Toni Braxton….but it's also part of the song prompt.

I Promise You (With Everything I Have) by the Backstreet Boys

You've been hurting a long time

The kind of pain I know too well

It's been pulling you under

Like some kind of evil spell

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, hold you

Til the ghosts all disappear

I'm not going anywhere

I'm gonna stay right here

Emily and Aaron had been dating for 6 months before Foyet happened and a year before Haley died. Emily watched Hotch slowly get sucked under by demons and ghosts and she hated seeing him like that. The night Haley died she sat with him on his couch holding him in her arms whispering to him that everything would eventually be okay and that she was there for him and she loved him.

If I have to wait for you

I'll hang on the line

If I have to just make do

I'll do it til the end of time

If I have to feel this pain

To know that you'll be mine all mine

That's the choice I'll make

That's the risk I'll take

If I have to wait for you

The following months were hard on everyone. Hotch wasn't the same person any more. He was depressed and he was guilty. Regardless of everyone telling him Haley's death wasn't his fault, he never listened.

Your tears are my tears

And I'm crying them too

Cause I can't, no I can't, I just can't

Find a way to get through to you

I know you really love me

But there's a part of you that's still missing

You've given me all that you can

But I can everything, everything, everything.

Hotch barely talked to Emily anymore. He was a walking zombie. One day he broke down in front of her as she hugged him tightly.

"I can't do this Em," he whispered against her hair.

"Do what Hotch?" She ran her hand up and down his back trying to soothe him.

"Us. You deserve so much better than me and I'm not that guy right now. I can't be who you want or need me to be. I'm sorry." He tried to pull away but she continued to hold him close.

"Aaron, I want you, that's who I want. I just want you. I don't need you to be anything other that that."

"I just need some time Emily. I'm sorry."

Emily felt tears start to burn her eyes. Was he breaking up with her? She leaned back and cupped his face. "Don't push me away Hotch. I want to help you. Please," her voice cracked against her will, "don't do this. I love you."

Hotch looked into her eyes and let tears stream down his face. "Don't you know I'm doing this for us? You deserve so much better Emily and I'm holding you back. I'm a broken man and I can't make you happy. I appreciate all you've done for me and Jack, but I just can't right now. And I couldn't stand it if I brought you down with me because of this. I love you too much. I'm sorry."

He started to back away but Emily placed a sweet gentle kiss on his lips. She pressed her forehead against his and let out a shaky breath. "Are you sure you want this?" Hotch nods. "Okay, but you're wrong you know. I don't deserve better because you are all I ever wanted." She kissed his lips again and headed for the door. She turned around to face him with tears streaking her face. "Aaron?"

He looked up sadly into her eyes. "I love you so much. More than I could ever express to you. You're my world, my heart, you are my everything. Nothing in this world means anything to me if I don't have you to share it with. So no matter how long it takes, no matter what, no matter when, when you're ready I'll be here waiting for you. I promise you, with everything I have, because you're mine and I'd do anything for you…even give you up if you asked. But one day when you figure all this out we will be together again because I'll wait until the end of time to be with you again. I love you," she choked out and slipped out of his apartment. The door closed shut behind her before she could hear the soft "I love you" coming from Hotch's lips.

If I have to wait for you

I'll hang on the line

If I have to just make do

I'll do it til the end of time

If I have to feel this pain

To know that you'll be mine all mine

That's the choice I'll make

That's the risk I'll take

If I have to wait for you


End file.
